1. 3/133 | Questioning

    This one is kinda boring. I don’t care. It’s for character development. Dial’s POV.

    I was always told that I wasn’t going to be good enough when I was small. Growing up, I was always put down and everyone told me that I was too slow, too dumb, or too relaxed. They said I would never amount to anything and I would always work in a factory.

    Everyone was wrong. I’m bonded, and I have a wonderful son who I love dearly. I’m a gestalt leader, and my gestalt is stationed on Cybertron as Guardians. I’ve been a gestalt leader for a very long time now. The mechs that I lead are a wonderful group, too.

    Chapter and District are the two that are actually related. They’re twins, and complete opposites. But they even each other out. Chapter is very kind and calm, and he’s a medic. He doesn’t like confrontation. District, on the other hand, is very aggressive, volatile and he loves to fight. When District gets to where he’s so angry he starts yelling at everyone, Chapter is there to calm him. The two of them definitely have each other’s backs.

    Fray wasn’t part of the original gestalt. He’s very young. He loves each of us, and will follow us around all day. Fray is a small flier, so he’s very good at keeping up. He seems to be mostly attached to Jaunt.

    Jaunt is the thrill seeker. He loves a challenge, and he loves accepting dares. That can sometimes get him into trouble, but he knows better. He’s very smart and normally likes doing his own thing. That’s alright, I don’t mind. It’s what makes him happy. Fray doesn’t like leaving Jaunt alone, however.

    The thing about being in a gestalt is, sometimes they notice things before you do sometimes.

    I’m bonded to a mech named Nose Dive. He and I met by chance. He grew up very well off. He went to an expensive flying academy, where he passed top in his class. He was gorgeous, and had the most stunning golden optics. His frame was mostly dark blue with white and black accents. His wings were black and beautifully shaped, sleek and smooth, built specifically for speed. That’s basically how we met. Nose Dive was walking very fast without paying attention to where he was going, and he smacked right into my chassis. He’d fallen, but I stayed up. I helped him up and he explained that, that wasn’t his normal route. I’d nodded, and said that I knew, because I’d never seen anything that beautiful pass through in a very long time. After that day, he came through every single day to talk to me while I worked. Eventually we started dating, and one thing led to another, until we were bonded.

    Everything was wonderful. Unfortunately, the war had started. It was a crushing decision, but Nose Dive became a Decepticon. He was the leader of the elite trine. Around this time, I was given the position of gestalt leader. We were one of the first gestalts of this war to have been put together.

    Eventually, Nose Dive found out that he was sparked.

    And that’s when everything changed.

    Nose Dive became more hostile. I was told that was just because he was sparked, and mood was affected, so I let it slide. But he had pulled a gun on me on multiple occasions. District heard about this, and made an attempt to confront him. Thankfully I was able to stop him before he got himself hurt. It only got worse from there. Nose Dive became more and more detached. It wasn’t until the newspark split, that he changed again.

    Freefall is my son. He’s got optics that rival Nose Dive’s. When he finally split, everyone was thrilled. He loved to smile and laugh, and his first word was daddy. He couldn’t wait to get flying lessons and grow up to be just like Nose Dive.

    As Freefall got older, he started keeping to himself more. He would cringe at touches, he didn’t like being held, and he hated others getting in his face. I thought that he was just growing up and trying to find his independent personality. The only problem was, none of us were like that, so there wasn’t much influence for him to be that way. He was babysat by two friends of mine, Trinity and Acid Burn, and both of them were great with physical affection.

    He would run to me when I came to pick him up and he demanded that I pick him up. As soon as I did, he curled up and went to sleep. The first time this happened, Trinity was confused. She hadn’t seen him do that with Nose Dive. That in itself should have been a red flag for me, but it wasn’t.

    She told me that Freefall would actually try to hide once he found out that Nose Dive would be the one to pick him up. Sometimes he’d even start crying. That should have told me something was wrong, but I wouldn’t hear it.

    Jaunt used to play Freefall all the time. Freefall loved Jaunt a whole lot. One day, Jaunt came to me, and he told me that he thought there was something going on with Nose Dive and Freefall. He told me that I should be concerned, and not let Freefall alone with Nose Dive.

    I didn’t listen.

    Many years later, when Freefall was old enough to choose his faction, Nose Dive went completely insane. He told Freefall that I “knew” the whole time and didn’t do anything about it.

    I was confused at first, but the look on Freefall’s face when he looked at me, nearly broke me. He had stormed off, and Nose Dive was chased away before he could hurt anyone, like he was threatening.

    Later, I found Freefall in my quarters on our base. I asked him what Nose Dive had meant, and he told me.

    My son, my pride and joy, was being molested and beaten by Nose Dive. Since he was small. He knew it was wrong, and he wanted to tell, but Nose Dive had threatened my life and Freefall’s as well.

    I didn’t know what to say. Everyone was right, Nose Dive was the problem. In a way, I was too. I was entirely too stubborn to listen to anyone. Because I didn’t think that the one mech that I trusted with everything I had would lie to me. I didn’t think that such a perfect mech would do something like that to someone that was so innocent.

    So all I was able to say was that I was sorry. And that I loved him.

    Freefall only nodded and said “Yeah, dad. Me too.”

    And proceeded to tell me that he was going to be a Decepticon.

    Today, he’s the leader of the elite trine. Much like Nose Dive. He’s bonded to a medic named Drawback. He’s happy. He’s sparked now, with his first, and he’s concerned that he’s going to turn out like Nose Dive. I know better. Freefall is nothing like Nose Dive, and he’s going to be a wonderful parent. 

    But sometimes, I sit down, and I ask myself…

    Would Freefall be an Autobot if only I had noticed sooner and done something about it?

    Am I going to ever get over this?

    Does Freefall blame himself? If so, why?

    Would things be different if I was a better father and leader? If I was able to keep my son safe from harm like I was supposed to?

    Will I ever stop blaming myself for what happened?

  1. glowingwritings posted this